Falling Down A Slippery Slope
by starlight.moon.princess
Summary: There's something missing in Sherlock Holmes' life. He doesn't know what it is, just that he's missing it. And he's not dealing with missing it very well. / Sherlock centric, pre-Johnlock, mainly pre-series.


**For the OTP Bootcamp (26. Help) and Prompt Of The Day Challenges on the BBC Sherlock Challenges Forum**

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He's been playing The Game for most of his life.

She's a possessive mistress, Mystery. The last thing she appreciates is something – or _someone_ – else stealing his attention from her. So he's devoted his life to her, making sure that he pushes everyone who tries to get close to him away.

He's content with living The Game. He is.

But even the thrill of The Game and the love of Mystery cannot stop him from feeling that there is something missing in his life.

He doesn't know what it is. He's never had it, so he cannot really miss it.

Defying all logic however, he does.

(And this troubles him more than anything. More than anything else, he'd like it if life was logical.

But that's the most important thing he's learned in the years he's played The Game.

Life is a lot of things. Logical is not one of them.)

Sherlock has simple needs. All he truly _needs_ to live is The Game, and maybe some food, water, and sleep. At least, that's what he thinks.

As soon as he realises that he's missing something, however – well, he also realises that he needs that something to live.

That something, whatever it is, ranks right up there with The Game.

But he may know that he needs something missing, but he doesn't know exactly what that something is. So he turns to what he knows will fill that gaping, growing hole inside of him.

He's learned since the last time Lestrade caught him. He's careful now, making sure that he doesn't leave any evidence on his body.

He _really_ doesn't want to go through the detoxing process again.

But he knows that he's spiralling down the slippery slope to addiction once again. He's lost count of how many times he's faced this fall – it turns out that cocaine can dull even the greatest of memories.

He's gotten away from pull of that cruel Queen before, but he doesn't know if he'll be able to do it again. Before, he was simply bored. And as soon as his boredom was alleviated, it was easy to walk away from her.

It's different now. Now, he's turning to the Queen because he has no other choice. She's the only one can even _start_ to fill that little empty void inside of him, and he'll do anything to make sure that she continues to do so.

By the time the supposed suicides come around, he's just moments away from surrendering to her forever.

So he lets slip to Stamford that he might be looking for a flatmate. Maybe a flatmate will help him curtail his growing dependence on the Queen.

He's doubtful it'll actually work, but he can try.

Falling back to his old habit means that Lestrade will not let him look at cases anymore, and the last thing he wants to do is abandon his mistress.

To his surprise, his plan works much better than even he could have predicted.

Because when Mike Stamford walks into the lab at Bart's, John Watson is by his side.

_John._

The world seems to stop, and when it starts again, it's revolving around the man in front of him.

They're fanciful thoughts, ones he would have laughed at anyone else for having.

But this is different. This is _John_, and no one else is as important as him.

His heartbeat's growing faster, his blood vessels are diluting, and every impulse in his body screams for him and wrap John up and never let him go.

(A detached part of him wonders if this is what falling in love is like

It feels exactly like what he's heard countless of ordinary – _boring_ – people describe it to be.

He's always been wary of that emotion, but if this is what it is, it might not be so bad.

Because it's not just falling in love, it's falling in love with _John_.

And when it's with John, it doesn't sound quite as ridiculous as he had imagined it would.)

It's a visceral reaction, and that's how he knows.

This man is it.

He's the saviour that Sherlock's been waiting for; the only one who can free him from the clutches of the Queen.

He's the person who will take the position of the cruel Queen, the one who will be his new ruler.

The one who will be a far kinder King that Sherlock could ever dream of.

_John Watson is the someone that Sherlock Holmes has been waiting for._

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**This is my first Sherlock fic, and I really hope I've gotten it right.  
**

**Please remember to R&R, I'd love to hear your thoughts about it.**


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